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Laminated full front page from 1980 Daily News about the notoriety and initial cancelling of the Calvin Klein " Nothing comes between me and my Calvin's "TV spot involving 15 year old Brooke Shields.  13 1/2 by 17 1/2  perfect for anyone interested in fashion

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Information

Writers

Members: 9
Latest Activity: Jun 21, 2012

What We are Going To Do

Thanks to some recent input from members of this group, we are going to sally forth and start to create a Writers' note book and workbook. This might resemble one of DaVinci's notebooks as it is for notes, suggestions, pictures drawings.

 

The notebook will be a running compilation of worthwhile questions, comments, poems and with some answers or suggestions also included.

 

Though I have written millions of words, I would have been helped immeasurably by some guidance and suggestions. But where to go, who to approach and my schedule was so busy. Now, maybe, hopefuly, we can provide some guidance here.

 

Some feedback may be only a click away.

A few rules, critiquing is fine, but no hurtful behavior.

I' ll put some stuff here below till the Mag is ready.

 

ATTENTION ATTENTION MAKE SURE YOU GO BELOW TO WHERE THE BLOGS ARE COMING IN TO SEE THE LATEST IDEA'S CRITIQUE ETC.

------------------------------------------------------------

A Challenge

Larry sent me a fun little poem this week about ice fishing and challenged me to write one back.  It was so much fun to get my creative juices running, to rip off a poem without a lot of angst.
So, I thought I would put the idea out to do this as a group once and awhile.  Some one throws a theme out there and you answer the challenge!

So, Larry I hope you don't mind but I am posting our quickie poems:)

Note from Larry
Hi,
I could see white caps and the waves washing up the shore. Have spent 100s of hours fishing Ontario. Take the boat out of Fair Haven Park launch some times.
if your on the bay, I am guessing there is no wave now, more likely you saw me fishin thru the ice this morning. You'll have to come up with an seasonal theme - Ice fishing.

I'll challenge you - beat this :>).
MY off hand poem about last Saturday:
---------------------------
Redneck Ice Fisherman

The Ice was lovely, Dark and Deep.
But Bad Weather made him weep.
Looked out the window at wind and sleet.
Rolled over in bed, went back to sleep.
---------------------------
My answer


Why?

I’ve been out in the cold
On ice gleaming bare
With a jig in my hand
And hardly a care

I sit on my bucket
My toes feeling numb
If you’ve never tried it
You might think I’m dumb

But when the sun shining
Wind quietly sings
Ice fishing is joyful
The peace that it brings

Imagining dinner
Awaits on your line
A few keeper fresh perch
That taste so sublime

LN

---------------------------------



Hello fellow writers,

I have been writing on and off since I've been 10 years old. Poetry, songs and stories. An odd hobby for someone who is dyslexic and spelling and grammar can be challenging.

My goal like most writers is to actually be published (other then just for free). I joined this group looking for like minded writers who would be willing to share idea's, read writing and honestly critique. But, I am not exactly sure what this groups idea's are. This is my first time joining a forum like this. So, I'd be interested to see what others have in mind.

Thanks,

Ellen Gerberich

-------------------------------------------------------------

From Larry Hartell

Ending Up Somewhere Unexpected

Hi all, ever start out thinking you knew were your headed and end up somewere totally unexpected. I Retired, joined a wood turning club last year and started turning, saw Snake oil was having Heart auction, donated a couple items and found this site. Then this writing board pops up, totally unexpected. I think the FORCE leads us more than we know :>).

I have wrote a few things for my own entertainment, never shared any. They are works in progress as everythime I read one I rewrite some part.

Saw this group and thought I'd put one up from 2008 - never  was to good in english, but here it is (for your pleasure or pain??).



Title - Awaking

Sam Bartnel looked out the open window near his bed. Outside was a spacious walled lawn with scattered trees and benches. A few people were on the walkway that twisted through the lawn.

As a nurse came into his view, Sam realized he had been staring in the direction of a man seated on a bench. The nurse pushed a wheelchair to the bench and helped the man into the chair. It was then Sam noticed the missing leg. He did not recognize, nor remember ever meeting this man, but still an uncomfortable feeling came over Sam as he watched the Nurse roll the man away.

It was a beautiful day outside and Sam’s eyes lingered at the window. A Song Bird set in a tree. The sunlight shined though the window and bathed Sam’s right side. Sam’s side was uncomfortably warm. He rolled onto his left side, away from the sunlight, and fell asleep.

This was the end of Rose’s first week on the 5th floor, she pick up a clipboard and stepped out of the Nurses’ Station. The Hospital required the Head Nurse to check each patient before the end of each shift. The 5th floor was full, 25 patients, and 1st shift ended in 30 minutes. Rose checked the paper work on the clipboard and walked to room 501. A Nurses Aid was helping a patient out of a wheel chair and into his bed. Rose asked the patient how he felt today, as she reviewed his chart.

The above is abridged you can find the entire piece from Larry at
http://www.cnyartists.com/group/writers/forum/topics/retirees-writing-attempts


Peter’s comments – Writers have to write a lot and get some help and direction, Which is one of the thing we are hoping to do. I wish I had some guiance when I started – I would have made better rogress.

You need to go from telling to showing. Don’t tell…show, that is what I have been told. Showing engages the reader and gets them to feel.

To practice this, instead of the second sentence I have in bold, write one to three pages describing in more sensory but uncommon details what he sees going on outside the window. Then write a another version. What were the
Sites, sound smells – how can you use the language to make it more sensual and engaging – let it flow
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Discussion Forum

Pen Survey - does anyone use them? 11 Replies

A little off topic, but my writing and wood turning cross paths when I build a pen.Leading me to question - Do writers use a pen/pencil anymore? Most likely use might be drafting ideas or a…Continue

Started by Larry Hartle. Last reply by Larry Hartle May 25, 2011.

Retiree's writing attempts 6 Replies

Hi all, ever start out thinking you knew were your headed and end up somewere totally unexpected. I Retired, joined a wood turning club last year and started turning, saw Snake oil was…Continue

Started by Larry Hartle. Last reply by Ellen Gerberich Mar 14, 2011.

A Challenge

Larry sent me a fun little poem this week about ice fishing and challenged me to write one back.  It was so much fun to get my creative juices running, to rip off a poem without a lot of angst.So, I…Continue

Started by Ellen Gerberich Feb 23, 2011.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Writers to add comments!

Comment by Larry Hartle on March 28, 2011 at 2:06pm

To send Ellen off to Nashville, I thought I'd write her something country.

Ellen, sorry for errors in first draft - Started to write a short congrats, got an idea while online, and wrote it directly on CNY. When I read it again, at bottom of your reply, I had to shake my head. Don't know how my mind works (or should say doesn't work) - normal numb stage. Here is the way I meant it to read.

          Redneck Cowboy Song

I brought a horse, his name was Jack

Tried real hard to stay on his back

He kicked, bucked and tossed his head

On the ground, I landed dead!

They buried me without fan fair

Place a stone to mark just were

My name unknown they only scratched

Cause of Death, “He didn’t know Jack”

Again - best of luck in Nashville

Larry

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on March 27, 2011 at 1:33pm
Some news, I am a member of NASI  (National Song Writers International) and when I am in Nashville I have an appointment to have 3 of my songs critiqued by an accomplished song writer. I am excited. If I figure out how to do it I will add a music mp3 clip to this thread.  Any feedback from this writing community would be welcome, although, remember I am not professing or wanting to be a singer.
Comment by Larry Hartle on March 14, 2011 at 12:45am
Hi all, can't believe everyone in group took time to write me. The awaking was pure ficton. I thought about Don's first commets and tried to make it better, however, thoughts just didn't come. So I took another story I wrote 20+ years ago, the story is a personal event and as such made it easier for me apply Don's suggestion (or at least what I thought Don was suggesting). be more detailed. I think it has improved the story and hope it is better. I have read it over a couple times now without changing it, will post. Thanks for all the feed back. Thanks to Don his help with my english. Free classes sound good, Think I will see what classes I might enjoy next fall. This week I have to get my boat out and get ready for Spring Browns.
Comment by Ellen Gerberich on March 2, 2011 at 5:48pm

Here another poem to share:)

 

                                          WALKING STICK

©

Ellen Gerberich

 

When I was a young man

I had spring in my step

 A bounce in my knees

I held my head high

Saying, Hey look at me

 

But I’m getting a bit older

I’ve got gray in my hair

My knees started creaking

The bounce just ain’t there

 

I still hold my head high

I have nothing to hide

I walk with a stick

I swing it with pride

 

So if you see me

Walking along

Swinging my stick

And humming a song

 

Smile when you see me

Wave at me too

‘Cause as the years pass

It could happen to you

 

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on February 10, 2011 at 7:50am

Hello again,

I promised myself that if I was going to take the time to be part of a writer's group that I would make time on a regular basis to share some of my writing.  For who are we as writers, if we don't write and share?  I write because I have to it's a intégral part of me.  There are times a thought or idea comes so fast that I'm not even sure that I wrote it or where it came from.  I write poetry, songs and stories for children and an occasional piece of satire. If I feel really gutsy sometime I might try and figure out how to add a song link. But, you have to understand, I'm a writer not a singer. But when a song comes to me it comes intact with melody.  So, be forewarned, listen to the words and melody with ears that hear someone else singing it as you critique it. First entry:

Majestic Waves
©
Ellen Gerberich

Once I was a majestic wave, beating up against the shore
Thundering - Crashing with a mighty roar
Riding the crest so full of pride
Imposing myself, fighting the tide

Feeling secure, feeling bold
Grasping - Clutching, trying not to loose hold
When quietly the Great Lake roared
Wrenching me back, away from the shore

I'm not so mighty now or full of pride
As the Great Lake sucked me, beneath it’s tide
It pulled me down across the bottom floor
Underneath - Forever more

But once again my white caps rise
With icy tentacles, I grasp my prize
Clinging to the rocks upon the shore
My icy form - Moves no more

Then the sun beat down with the coming of spring
I return once more, to my watery being
Starting again, it feels so right
Motion -Bringing me back to life

May your day be filled with happiness:)

LN

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on February 7, 2011 at 10:53am

Hello fellow writers,

I have been writing on and off since I've been 10 years old. Poetry, songs and stories. An odd hobby for someone who is dyslexic and spelling and grammar can be challenging.

My goal like most writers is to actually be published (other then just for free). I joined this group looking for like minded writers who would be willing to share idea's, read writing and honestly critique. But, I am not exactly sure what this groups idea's are. This is my first time joining a forum like this. So, I'd be interested to see what others have in mind.

Thanks,

LN

 

Comment by Peter Svoboda on October 23, 2010 at 2:42pm
Congratuations
 

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